All of You Men?

Can all of these men stop dropping bombs on people? Can all of these men stop telling me who I am? Can all of these men stop texting me unanswered for three weeks, sending me strange pictures of vaginas? Can these men stop being 16-year-old boys I have hope for instead of old, creepy boomers who I've already set aflame any positive expectations of in my various traditions of burning bonfires of trust for various men I now have to part with. It's depressing. Can all of these men stop calling me and leaving me very scary, overtly sexual voicemails? Or simple, yet deeply complex breathing voicemails? Can all of these men stop finding joy in the knowledge that they have power of fear over me? Can all of these men stop beating vulnerable people in the streets, and in prisons, and gay men, Trans, and their children for not subscribing to their religion, and women for not engaging in sex with them? Can all of these men just stop beating? Can all of these men stop explaining to me what I already know? Can all of these men stop promoting a story and culture in which the original woman was more inherently sinful, for their own personal gain? Can all of these men stop hiring me at restaurants so that they can flex their power through moving me back and forth from the position they hired me for; server, to host, to counter, then back?, because I am a seemingly agreeable young woman who in reality just really needs a job, and they want to see me in a dress, or see me vulnerably ask time and time again for what I was promised, or have the opportunity to passive aggressively demand a smile from me, or to force me to stay after shift to have a drink with them that I do not want, because their company is such a divine privilege that I must be so ungrateful to not acknowledge and accept. Can all of these men stop punishing me and us the next day at work when we don't stay after work for the free drink they so graciously demanded we enjoy with them? Can all of these men stop building strong relationships with us, offering us specific compliments void of sexual nature, giving the appearance of unconditional concern and care, then touching our knee and whispering in our ear in the manager's office later on? Can most of these men, also, stop being our dad's age and occasionally looking like our dad? Can all of these men stop treating jobs they offer us as quid pro quos for praise and insured agreement? Can all of these men stop telling us how we should of responded in sexual harassment situations when they lack the education of the psychology of what it feels like to find yourself paralyzed with fear, frozen into a moment of allowance. Agreeable allowance allows for disassociation. Disassociation makes it easier to forget. Right ladies? Can all of these men managers stop telling me that the bartender who always calls me sweetie, condescends me for sport, and touches my lower back at every close quarter opportunity, is the person in charge, and to listen to him and not take everything so seriously? Can all of these men that run stand-up comedy mics stop describing any of the female comics as adorable? Just, please? Can all of these men directors of plays stop lashing out at the young woman in the cast who seems the most likely to accept unnecessary, moody lashings by way of petulant children trapped in overweight, hairy, 50-year-old man bodies. WHY have you been conditioned to feel empowered to exercise your power in a toxic manner? Furthermore, why have you capitalized on it and chosen to cultivate such disgusting qualities? Why has SHE has been conditioned to accept and move through emotional abuse so gracefully at the ever-changing moods of grown men incapable of processing stress while making choices as the corpus callosum will not allow? Can all of these men stop trying so desperately to belittle my opinions on social media through personally attacking me as someone who “probably watches The Bachelor”? Can all of these men stop attacking my ideas with personal attacks, period? Can all of these men stop positioning themselves as the all-knowing authorities on morality? Can all of these men stop trying to shame us, while simultaneously romantically pursuing us, in order to weaken our self worth so that we may feel so empty and lost that we seek something in them? Can all of these men driving Lyfts and Ubers stop asking me to sit in the front seat and putting their hands up my skirt when I'm tipsy and clearly too trusting of men in general? Because god forbid a young millennial woman chooses hope in the face of reality and makes the bold decision to view men as humans and not as the freaks they are, consistently objectifying young women. Can all self-righteous male chefs, and also, underpaid and undervalued men of the kitchens of the restaurants I work in stop laughing at me when I ask for a missing item for my table, or guest's food? Maybe you did give it to me, and I made a mistake because I'm a human, and I mess up ALL THE TIME, but often, you didn't, and just because I'm a young, silly girl, does not make me stupid, or someone who should be put in a position to have to beg for a caesar dressing for Tom. Can all of these men stop describing women's sexual choices as unattractive, as if they are the ultimate authority on what is attractive? Most of you don't even own pants that fit so I don't know who you think you are. Can all of these men stop re-iterating the amount of money they have spent on dates with women? Can they also stop describing the woman's choice to not engage in sexual relations with them following said date as “fine, it's whatever, but you know, I mean I spent like $150 on her, and we were together all day, but, that's how they are.”? Can men stop describing us as “they”? Can other men stop describing us as “some women”? “You know, not all women, but some, crazy, liberal women”? Can all of these men please stop using public figures of women who actively work to silence feminists as examples of good or more sane women? Anyone working to silence anyone is working against understanding. Can all of these men stop touching our heads in forceful ways, pulling it towards their crotch in their cars in front of Yogurtlands? You guys are freaks and we would never do that to you. Why? Because we don't feel ownership over your body. Also, maybe I don't want to hold your hand. So, how about not making me? Can all of these men stop telling their wives who to vote for and what to care about? Can all of these men stop telling other men who to love? Can all of these men stop telling all people who to love and how? Can all of these men stop telling other men what rights to support and which are too much? Can all of these men in authority positions stop punishing me for not laughing at their jokes or smiling at them through firing me, or cutting my shifts, or spreading gossip about me, or not casting me or making an effort to embarrass me in a public setting, more often than not, in order to make me appear stupid, silence me, or discredit my voice? Can all of these same ego driven, sensitive men stop claiming that women and socially conscious men are too sensitive to be effective voices in positions of power? Can all of these men stop wanting power more than anything? Can all of these men stop pursuing power? Can all of these men stop giving other men who want power, the right to have it, simply because they want it, and not because they are deserving or decent or diplomatic or clear leaders? Can you guys PLEASE stop defending men in power that commit violent, inhumane acts against others? Can all of these men stop enjoying oppressing others? Can all of these men stop pretending to appease women?, especially those women they claim to value and share a paramount, intimate relationship with? Can all of these men stop perpetuating the notion that apologizing makes you weak? Or that conceding to new ideas or change makes you less principled? Or that men who view their female partner as an equal are just pretending? Can all of these men stop perpetuating the lie that men of other races are either more violent or more feminine, in order to attempt to strip other men of the freedom to feel or live into the dimensional, sensitive, living being they are, because that's not appropriate. Can all of these men stop using the word appropriate in relationship to women's choices? Can all of these educated, caring men stop trying to have the very big, important conversation of classism and capitalism, while avoiding the topics of racism and misogyny, because “they are all tied together”? Even if technically this can sort of be true, and this knowledge you have  is knowledge you have cultivated which can be helpful, this is still an active choice to softly invalidate racism and misogyny and it's incredible, perennial effects. *There is nothing soft about the invalidation of racial and gender issues. Can all of these men please stop reminding us of what a horrible candidate Hillary was for president? Most of us know. But if you think for one second that we don't deeply fear that it wasn't just because she was a poor candidate, but more than anything, that she was a woman, then you don't know us at all. If you think that reality doesn't devastate us, keep us up at night, disturb our relationships with men, or command power over us, you are wrong. Can all of you men stop claiming to not associate with third wave feminism because Lena Dunham does? We are more important than your disdain for Lena Dunham. And if she's so stupid and pointless then you should have no problem overlooking her existence in order to care about women. Can all of you in that same group please stop condescending our passion about feminists topics with guilt about the heinous and horrific sex trafficking and more severe misogynistic cultures in other countries? Again, please STOP telling us that we can't care about less severe injustices towards women because more severe injustices are happening every second of every day. We know. And we know what entitled pricks we can sometimes be, but, as humans, not as women. That's the difference. In painting us as being entitled in our concern and demands for equal rights, because you are “nice” to us, you are finding yourself in the position of ultimate entitlement. So, stop. Also, we don't have to be extra grateful to you for treating us with decency because so many men in the world don't do the same. That's not how decency works. So please stop expecting that. Can all of you men stop telling women who they should be dating? Can you also stop trying so hard to sell these women the narrative that they would never be able to date men of other races because those men are “different”?, i.e. more likely to objectify, more likely to be aggressive, not emotionally strong enough, too feminine, too boring, & other various racist culture insults and other-thans. Can all of you men stop using so much of your energy and effort towards finding new, creative ways to hate and try to discredit and de-fund Planned Parenthood? Many of you have daughters who found refuge there when they were 16 and too ashamed, due to the culture you created, to be honest with you. Affordable access to health care for ALL women is important. Women feeling safe is important. Can all of you men stop following women around clubs that keep moving into their circle of friends, and away from you? This is intentional. We have all labeled you a threat and want you to leave us, and her, alone. Can all of you men just be cool? Can you please just TRY to see the world in a more racial and gender and class structured and capitalist controlled lens?, even if that lens does serve you and it may be difficult to acknowledge your privilege. Can you please just be more mindful of your relationships with us and the causes you denote worth to and the adjectives you use to describe us? Can all of you please just try to see? Can all of you please just listen?